I’m half-astounded and half-guilty that I can actually get this intense anger out in just one silly, petty reason. I’m thinking of getting to rehab or probably look for a psychiatrist that can help me resolve my issues. When I say intense it means the rage of fury coming right at you; I can’t seem to calm down and I can’t even control myself going cranky all of the sudden without even “understanding” the whole thing; i just get bitter in a count of 3.
I feel… it makes me sad to think I can actually hurt people with words I’m not even certain of, accusing them with things they didn’t do. During that infamous wrongdoing, my friend asked me to accompany him to the Guidance Office because I needed to let it all out and I need to stop hating the wrong people for just one stupid mistake and misunderstanding. (I wasn’t summoned by the Guidance Councilor, just to clear things out. It was already passed the office hours. Hahaha) I just needed air to breathe and a little time to think things over, so thankful of my friend who was honest enough to tell me the details, what really happened and my mistakes. Basically, it was all my fault. It was immature and I should have not reacted inappropriately. I wanted to ask for an apology but it did not happen the way my friend and I wanted it to happen because instead of making the first move, they were the ones who approached me however they did not say sorry nor did I.
It takes time. I am still waiting for that perfect moment. I have to ask for forgiveness and I need to stop being a bitch for once. I can be so stubborn and can completely forgot about this but this time I should not. I need to learn; I need to learn how to be nice. (That’s going to my New Year’s Resolution so help me God.)
